After few days of digesting the qoute from one of Oprah's guests about marriages in my last post, it keep me ponder the reality nowadays about marriage. I'll just recap the qoute from my last post "those days marriage used to be sacred, ancient union of man and woman, but nowadays marriage means economic contract". I have actually some mixed thought about her philosophy. To a certain extent, I am beginning to agree that marriage is now becoming economic contract because women or wives are encroaching into breadwinner's sphere. It is definitely not the same anymore. By the 'sacred, stone-age' definition (aku punya definition la ni...), 'wife or 'housewife' is a woman who do everything, I mean everything, in the house' , while 'husband is a men who brings money home and do nothing in the house'. This model works well with our parents and those before them. So why there a so many short term union nowadays? BCOZ - man and woman simply fail to understand that things have change since woman started to enter the job market. Yang hak laki ni, dia dok buat ego cam tu jugak, hang bini hang buat semua keje rumah, pasai duit pandai lak nak share responsibility. Yang hak pompuan pulak kata, aku kerja pun penat gak, aku malah la wei, makan la kat kedai, basuh/gosok baju kat kedai, agak2 laki mengamuk, aku mengamuk sekali, aku pun ada duit gak....Itu la bunga pertama kepada jalan cerai. Marriage is so short term nowadays that many mat salleh's marriages nowadays, begin with prenuptial agreement...
Most celebrity in US sign this before they tie the knot
The pre-nup toolkit also can be purchased online
In Malaysia context, where pre-nup agreement sounds very rude, we can start with paradigm shift on what marriages is all about. First step is marriages need to be portrayed as setting up a new business with a partner. In business, first you find the partner that you like, with the right chemistry, who you think you can work with, then only both of you draw a certain business plan.... Perbandingannya kalau dalam kerja aku, kita panggil Detailed Business Plan (DBP), cuma yg ini MCMC tak monitor la kan.... A Marriage DBP should clearly assigns the targets, the capex, the opex, where to resource it, who do what, when, how - with the ultimate aim to see their business succeed and make as much profit as possible. As is with the business, there will be time of recession, disaster, stormy wheather, then both partners need to sail through, good or bad, by not finding fault of each other, but take responsibility, tolerate, help each other, and many more vocabolaries that you can find in the book of chicken soup for marriages...
As a closing, I would like to recap this strategic qoute from Marisa Demori of Ipoh, extract from letter to editor in Sun newspaper,
Love and marriage are unlikely to go out of fashion, but even the deepest feeling and the most sacred institution need some kind of renovation as times pass by. Prospective marriage partners should be taught to make a plan, have a goal.
When young people in love are taught that they will share both love and rewards, and that their bottom line profit will be higher if they enter into marriage deal, they will be more keen on getting married because the advantages will be apparent.
The key to save marriage life is to view the marriage as equitable and mutually advantageous business deal.
....put this clause in the your DBP...
Marisa has put a strong but very relevant view there. I'm sure this is not covered in the syllabus for Kursus Kahwin by Jakim. I think I'll tell my my children when they are ready to set up the business..marriage business that is..
No comments:
Post a Comment